The illusion of control of one’s environment, be it things or people, is fear based, not love based. It will wear away at the soul of the controller until they are only a shadow of what they might have been. This behavior always has the same ending. It always fails.
In my life, I endured many labels of shame imposed on me by both my family and ‘certified therapists’ and the labels of shame imposed by societal systems — all of which I now know are not true. It isn’t me — it’s what happened to me. As I am relieved of my stress, I am relieved of my compulsions.