You know that tiny wince when your boundaries are overrun. It’s instinctual for most to be aware of boundary issues but perhaps you don’t know the signs or perhaps you think setting boundaries is kind of cold and impersonal.
Of course, if you are empathic or highly sensitive it’s even more important to set boundaries because you take everything in and want to help. Everyone. So, knowing how to discern your own healthy boundaries and having respect for other people’s boundaries kind of go hand in hand – right? But, honestly, setting boundaries is one of the hardest things for me.
Unfortunately, if you’re uncomfortable with setting boundaries or simply don’t know how to, things build up and then blow out in a burst of anxiety. No one wants that to happen and when it happens you feel worse than you did before. Then, it becomes a behavioral circle of being trampled on, blowing up, feeling worse, over-compensating for feeling worse, then it begins again.
Oh Wow! Why don’t we just jump off that merry-go-round and start setting some healthy boundaries?
12 Self-Talk Methods for Setting Boundaries
But, like so many things pertaining to self-care and mental health, it takes time to create new behaviors so be patient with yourself as you teach yourself new techniques.Setting Boundaries • You've Got This Click To Tweet
Here is a little checklist to help you followed by motivational eQuotes about setting boundaries for you to download and/or share with your friends and family.
➳ Pay attention to what your body is telling you. When it feels like too much, it is. This is time for setting boundaries – kindly but firmly.
➳ Identify your boundaries. What drives you nuts? Make a list! Laugh if you want, but that’s a good place to start!
➳ Be aware of your doubts. They have a place, but don’t let them rule the day. Perhaps you don’t want to hurt somebody’s feelings but ask yourself…is that person being sensitive to your needs? Perhaps they simply don’t know what you needs are because you haven’t told them.
➳ Practice setting your boundaries with kindness. In fact, stand in front of a mirror and practice, practice, practice. Here are some examples that you can adapt for your own situation.
- “This is too overwhelming for me so I can’t be the person you vent to right now. Let me check back in with you tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”
- “I’m not ready to talk about this. I will let you know when I am.”
- “There is not enough time right now, but we can talk in an hour when my work is complete.”
- “I love spending time with you, but right now I need time for myself. Let’s make plans for later this week.”
- “You can borrow my dress, but I need it back by Sunday and please wash it first.”
- “I love hanging out with you, but I can’t always afford to go out to eat. Let’s have a picnic next time.”
- “I noticed a dent in my car after you borrowed it. Let’s talk about how you plan to fix it.”
- “You are standing too close to me, and I need you to take a step back.”
Tip o’ the Hat to Living Wild Arizona.
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