The more a person thinks they have to hide their fear and shame the more they try to control their environment. This is one way narcissism snowballs and harms all involved, whether those included in the circumstances are there by choice or not. But control will not rid you of fear and shame.
The illusion of control of one’s environment, be it things or people, is fear based, not love based. It will wear away at the soul of the controller until they are only a shadow of what they might have been. This behavior always has the same ending. It always fails.
This behavior begins in our homes.
- Are our children taught to think freely or are they told what to think?
- Are they taught to love and respect each other as they expect for themselves or are they taught to be judgemental and cruel to those who do not live up to your perception of ‘standards’?
- Are they taught to help those in need or are they taught to shun those sickly judged as ‘less than’?
I grew up in a home that was quite dysfunctional on many levels. I fought against the sick games. I stood up to them over and over and over again. I attended several treatment programs designed for alcoholics which helped with the compulsions temporarily but it was nothing more than a bandaide for me. All the while, I suffered emotionally, physically, and financially until I was able to break away to find my peace.
If I had it to do over again, would I do it any other way? No. Because now, I have a tremendous story of survival to tell. If my story helps only one other person, my life was worth every second of pain I endured to get where I am today.
My Facebook friend posted this today and I want to share this with my readers.
If you identify with my experience(s), if you have a comment or questions – whatever – let me know. I want to hear from you n the comments below.
Together we light the way